3:11 AM, currently listening to Star's "Calendar Girl"

i dreamed i was dying as i so often do
and when i awoke, i was sure it was true
i went to the window, threw my head to the sky
and said, "whoever is up there, please don't let me die"

but i can't live forever
i can't always be
one day i'll be sand on a beach by the sea
the pages keep turning
i'll mark off each day with a cross
and i'll laugh about all that we've lost

. . .

I was recently inspired by a post ("How to become an early riser") into changing my sleeping habits.

College students are notorious for screwing with their body's biorhythm, but I've taken things to a whole 'nother level. Back when I was a freshman in college, I went through a phase (for about 3 weeks) where I converted sleep schedule such that I slept about 8-10 hours every other day. In essence, I ran 36 hour days. This was back when I was a hardcore freelancer and still learning all the ins and outs of webdesign and business. Oh yeah, I had classes too (*snarfle*).

In any case, the post inspired me to try to wake up by 730am every morning. I decided Sunday that I was going to DO THIS NO MATTER WHAT starting yesterday. The post (correctly) makes the point that waking up early has a high correlation to increased productivity (whether it's an actual causal relationship is debatable - I've always felt that in the morning I'm confronted with Lazy Roy and Diligent Roy. Lazy Roy wants to sleep in - if I let Lazy Roy dictate my morning, Lazy Roy usually dominates for the day).

So yesterday ... I found myself awake at 4am. No worries. I'll sleep extra tonight, just like the post said! So I woke up at 8am (a little off the mark, oh well!) and started my day.

It is now 318AM and I find myself awake again. And I'm not tired. If anything, I feel like my mind is racing into overdrive right now ... and I know I have to wake up in roughly 3 and a half hours and start my day once again.

So basically I'm just going to bed at the same ridiculous hour ... but I'm just waking up at another ridiculously early hour. But as long as my body doesn't complain, I shouldn't whine, right? More hours awake = more chances to get stuff done.

. . .

I've been making a concerted effort at growing up. I've felt over the past few months I've really let myself slide in terms of self-control, responsibility, and diligence. I'm trying to get organized with my life (which is why I asked about todo lists), trying to cut down on unnecessary expenses (last week I only spent 2/3 of my budget!!), and trying to get into a good rhythm so I can be a productive bee.

. . .

But one of the problems I'm facing is the inability to finish projects. I never got AM done. I never finished my own personal webpage. I'm constantly in Tabulas development flux. It occurs to me that I haven't released any project or any release of notable worth since Tabulas 2.0! That's pretty sad, given the number of hours I've put in to all the projects!

So another personal goal I'm adding on top of getting my sleep schedule on track is to get some of these projects finished and out the door. I'm currently working on my workplace's stuff (8-10 hours a day), spending a few hours on Tabulas (1-2 hours) and spending 1-2 hours on a small fun project that I'll be releasing by end's week (if I meet my personal goals!).

In an effort to give myself a much needed confidence boost, I'm going to spend time on the home.tabulas.com page. It's small enough that I can get it done in a few days, but big enough that it'll make a big impact on Tabulas as well as give me a sense of well-being ("You're being productive. Good job. Have a cookie. NOW GET BACK TO WORK").

. . .

Sorry for all the really boring technical posts as of late. My mind's been racing ... and I just need to get it down.