One of the good quotes from the Charles Barkley book where he talks about perspective:

It's very scary. Terminal illness is just ... man. To think "I can brighten up this kid's life, if only for a few minutes" is kind of overwhelming. And if you can't get some perspective from that, then you're hopeless. I'm bitching because my breakfast is cold?"

I found out yesterday my grandmother has cancer. Both my grandparents are in their 80s, but it really doesn't strike you that they can pass away like that ... it was a rough night for me. I can only imagine how my father is feeling right now. I'm going straight down to her hospital after work today to see her one final time.

It's weird because I think the doctors give her a few months, but I'm not coming back. So this really is like a final goodbye for me. My last time I can see her alive and talk to her.

My grandparents come from a completely different era. Being raised in America, I have also a very different mindset ... but the whole time I've been here, my grandparents have been amazing to me. I go there almost every week and we have lunch, and although we don't have much to say ... it's the small things that you remember.

I called my grandfather yesterday (the whole family is starting to gather in Seoul to visit my grandmother in the hospital) ... and he seemed very visibly shaken up. He's growing old, and so he's become so dependent lately on my grandmother.

Although my grandmother is in her 80s, she is seriously the strongest woman I've ever met. When my mother flew in, my grandmother took public transportation all the way to Incheon airport (she lives in Anyang, which is at least two - two half hours away from Incheon by public transportation) just to greet my mother. Because my mother had other people picking her up, my grandmother then promptly took a bus back home. What an amazing woman. She has so much strength ... and then to hear she has cancer sucking the life out of her. So hard.

Damnit, I originally stopped writing short inane posts because they weren't important, but that's what people will remember. Sure, people have their life accomplishments, but the loved ones always remember the small things. I've refrained from posting so many little anecdotes regarding my grandparents while I'm here ... but I'm going to write them all now. It's those small moments I'm sure I'll remember the best as I grow up ...

Last week, I was taking a taxi back to the subway station with my grandmother and grandfather after enjoying an enjoyable meal by their house. While in the car, my grandmother commented to my grandfather, "Isn't that shirt really nice?" (the one he was wearing). He grunted an agreement .. then she said, "Can't you say thanks for once?" He replied, "My comfort should be your happiness." It was really funny the way he answered (he was joking, of course) ...

Two weeks ago, my grandmother decided that we should have chicken soup (Koreans believe eating it in the summer is healthy), so we went searching for a place. When we got out of the taxi, my grandmother and grandfather were arguing over where the sam-gae-tang (chicken soup) place was. My grandfather started walking in one direction, while my grandmother started walking off in the other direction. I literally was frozen. Do I follow my grandmother? Do I follow my grandfather? I just stood there as both of them started walking off in separate directions ... looking from side to side, HOPING one of them would quickly find a place and then call the other. But alas, that was not to be. They both walked beyond my sight of vision ... and I was stuck.

These are the types of things they never teach you in etiquette school. It should be a multiple choice question: "If your grandmother and your forgetful grandfather start walking off in opposite directions, whom do you walk with?"

So I went up to my grandfather and told him that grandma had walked off in some other direction. He gave this look of exasperation and then sat down at a chair. I told him I would go looking for him and then I ran after grandma. I eventually found her, and we eventually found a place to eat.