Man, sometimes I just feel so lonesome. I guess it's a part of growing older ... the feeling of being "alone" in the world. I fear that I won't find that one person I'll be able to click with and be able to spend the rest of my life with ... to find that person to who can share my burdens and my joys during the highs and lows of my life.

Sometimes I'm very cynical when it comes to girls. I think they're pretty much the same. But who am I kidding? I'm not that different from most of the guys I know. I'm not unique, yet I long for a unique girl who will make my life special.

Maybe it's just a futile search.

All I know is I've just pent up a lot of feelings lately. I don't really have a release ... no one cares or understands half of what I ramble about (technical computer stuff) ... and the other times I feel my problems aren't enough to burden my friends with.

I definitely feel my journal has grown cold and non-personal; half the time, it reads like a .plan and the other times it's just random foolishness I spout to fill the void of the journal ... like a clean blackboard that needs to be written on, I feel the need to write in the journal.

So I'm going to try to commit myself to write more about my personal stuff on here ... to those casual readers, don't worry, I won't force you to get Tabulas and get me to add you as a friend; my entries are almost all public (regardless of their sensitivity).

It's a lonely world.