Do any of you remember AsianAvenue?

Check this graph out:

Guys, I finally feel like my life has some meaning. I can die a HAPPY man now that I defeated AsianAvenue. Hahahahahahaha

. . .

Have you guys heard? Ford officially announced they are no longer producing the Ford Taurus ... what a sad day. Generations after me will never get to experience the glory of the Taurus V6. SNL had a Weekend Update on it and had this to say:

After 21 years and sales of nearly 7 million cars, Ford has announced it will no longer make the Taurus, forcing many 30-somethings to force a new way to show the world they've given up on their dreams.

Maybe the girl who was asking for my autograph at Wendy's wanted it as a reminder of what people who have no hopes and dreams drive everyday ...

One of my goals in life has always been to get a red racing suit and pose with my Ford Taurus much like Conan did:

Lately, I've been feeling the autological clock ticking on the Green Monster - honestly I'd be surprised if it lasted long enough to see the Tar Heels reach the Final Four (March) ... so I've gotta pull the trigger on this gag soon.

I just did a search on eBay, and I can get a red racing suit for $50!!!!! Is it worth wasting $50 as a one-time gag for a joke that maybe 2 people in the world will get and think is funny? Is it worth spending $50 to take pictures, post them online, and scare potential girlfriends away from me??????

OF COURSE IT IS. THIS IS ME YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

<eagerly awaits auction end...>