roy

I've been playing some tennis lately. Although (arguably) I couldn't yet match up with Agassi or Roddick, I think I could give some of the lesser stars (perhaps that scrub Federer, I mean really what has he done?) a run for their money. Just kidding.

In any case, please humor my fantasies and follow me on this rambling. What if, by some twist of fate, I was a sports star? Instead of having the powers to bore hundreds of readers with mediocre posts, I could shoot a perfect three pointer? Or what if I was the next Tom Brady? Or what if I had the gifted ability to leap across defenders and make mind-boggling catches in the end zone?

The biggest fallacy here is that my name is simply not star power material.

Look at the biggest stars in the world. Their names make them marketable. Say "Agassi" and everyone immediately imagines the balding tennis player and the Canon Rebel camera. "Kobe" is now immediately associated with alleged rape (JK!) ... but you get my point. My name "Roy Kim" does not provide much leeway in making a cool nickname. Even if I pull an Allen Iverson and try to use my initials, RK is hardly a fearful combination of letters. I can't shorten my first name ala Carmelo and simply be known as 'Melo. 'oy? Nope.

This is a huge problem if I'm going to be a superstar. I must have a cool nickname. This is the cool thing about poker players. That game is so subjective (almost all pros are considered "world-best" players (Any given NL list of "great" world poker plays can contain anywhere from 50-100 poker names ... how many "greats" can you have?!) that you can give YOURSELF nicknames and everyone HAS to call you by that name. David "The Dragon" Pham. Men "The Master" Nguyen. Phil "Crybaby" Hellmuth! David "Devilfish" Ulliot. THE LIST NEVER ENDS. So perhaps I can make up my own nickname in hopes it'll catch on.

So please, I will officially only be known as "The Thug." Most of my close friends already call me this ... so now the rest of you will refer to me as "The Thug." Roy "The Thug" Kim.