"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."

 - Father Alfred D'Souza

This little quote really sums up my life perspective. I've always been searching for the next end - something to give me a sense of completion; some moment where I'd reflect at a beautiful vista to feel complete. But every time I work towards that vista, I am inadvertently disappointed that it isn't what it is - there's another vista point up ahead.

Whenever I talked about my hopes and dreams in the past, it'd always be predicated on some end, and a sense of a new beginning. Over the past year, I've realized that there is less and less a sense of an end - I look back now and see the small moments that made the journey a fun one. 

It's funny, because looking back at school, it was the same thing. I never put weight into the end of it - the graduation part. I remember the small little moments - the random friends, the random late night outings... those were the best parts.

Maybe those little moments are the best memories we have, and this pursuit of an end to define my purpose is merely an illusion.

Here's to recognizing the beauty I have in my life - the struggle of those people around me who need help, and the continual recognition that I should acknowledge more of present, and stop placing my hopes on some mystical end that will bring me complete fulfillment.

Ω