Wow, capturing my generation perfectly.

This phenomenon, known as the "Quarterlife Crisis," is as ubiquitous as it is intangible. Unrelenting indecision, isolation, confusion and anxiety about working, relationships and direction is reported by people in their mid-twenties to early thirties who are usually urban, middle class and well-educated; those who should be able to capitalize on their youth, unparalleled freedom and free-for-all individuation. They can’t make any decisions, because they don’t know what they want, and they don’t know what they want because they don’t know who they are, and they don’t know who they are because they’re allowed to be anyone they want.

And later: (emphasis mine)

Boomer and post-boom parents with more money and autonomy than their predecessors has resulted in benignly self-indulgent children who were sold on their own uniqueness, place in the world and right to fulfillment in a way no previous generation has felt entitled to, and an increasingly entrepreneurial, self-driven creation myth based on personal branding, social networking and untethered lifestyle spending is now responsible for our identities.

I wrote about my thoughts around quarterlife crisis nearly four years ago. My thoughts haven't changed much.

But what has become increasingly clear to me is that my generation does have an incredible sense of entitlement. That entitlement (I conjecture) is a result of the emphasis on the individual. The uniqueness of me. How special I am. Look at the rise of Objectivism (I remember this was an incredibly popular movement during high school - rich upper middle-class kids) as an example of this.

The article talks broadly about the emptiness of having your social sphere online, and mentions Facebook. I would say that blogs are an earlier, worse example of things that lead to entitlement. Never before, in the history of mankind, have individuals had a powerful voice that could be heard. The blog, especially when it's frequented by like-minded individuals, can lead to individuals thinking they are more unique than they are. Be on the soapbox long enough, and you get pretty full of yourself.

I've bemoaned the fact that our generation's been perceived as weak - nothing like the Golden Generation. I don't think we're fundamentally weaker - we've simply had no unifying cause to rally behind. We haven't been tested for hardships because there haven't been any (even our economic downturns are short and don't force us to be thrifty). We have a cult of an individual because we haven't been made to answer to a higher authority in a way that forces us to sacrifice for the "better good." In the absence of that, we've become self-absorbed and embraced the cult of the individual. (It also doesn't help that technology has allowed an individual to have a huge impact - wealth generation by an individual has never been faster).

(That's why I love people who just mercilessly bash me in the comments - it keeps me grounded and in check).

I went through the social adjustment in my early twenties which I thought was my "quarterlife crisis," but reading this article, I wonder if I'm going through another version of the quarterlife crisis.

SPENDING MONEY IS as fraught as making it. Multiple degrees, trips to Peru, and keeping up appearances on Saturday night all communicate values and desires, and having no consistent sense of “want” can reinforce the problem, often with trail of debt.

I can't believe how well this describes me. While I'm fairly settled in my career, my personal life has been throw into a whirlwind of sorts. (I can personally attest that money and having no sense of who you are is a horrible combination). I don't know who I am. There was a time I tried to reconnect with the more conservative upbringing of my past, but it didn't feel right. I'm clearly not in the other end of the spectrum (the guy who goes out clubbing/bar hopping/etc), so I've been struggling to find where I am. Two years ago, I was honestly ready to settle down (right girl in the right situation would have done it). Now? Even if I met the right girl now, I'd run away from that commitment.

I mean, the article does a wonderful job of summarizing the two opposing thoughts I been struggling with lately:

Kimmel says, of men in particular, “Part of the Quarterlife Crisis is a kind of malaise that the end of your youth is really the end of fun. And that you’re never going to have any fun again, because you have to work. You’re never going to have sex again because you’re going to get married. Your life is over.” So why bother? Literal and figurative fucking around is infinitely more appealing to men who are still sorting out what they want their lives to look like.

How often has the phrase, "I"m enjoying the bachelor life until I settle down" been muttered out of my mouth? I know, deep down, it's a stupid excuse for my fear of embracing real responsibility and turning away responsibilty and hard work (I like things too easy). 

“Grown-ups understand that the choices we make also involve choices we don’t make,” Kimmel says. “We have some regrets and we carry [those] with us. Guys don’t get a lot of help in this from each other or from our culture. Culturally we have got to show guys that the other side of this is actually terrific.” He points out that, statistically, married men are happier and have more sex, and that fathers experience lower levels of depression.

It's a shame, because my behavior is a clear regression - it's a clear reversal of maturity. If fatherhood is that point where men feel a purpose in life, drawing the wrong conclusion during your quarterlife crisis is the antithesis of that.

One day, I'll look back with amusement at my immaturity and the internal conflicts that made me act so stupidly. I look forward to that day, but until then... I'm enjoying the bachelor life until I settle down.

. . .

One related story. During the later hours of work today, I got hungry. There were leftovers from lunch in the kitchen - in particular, a bowl of potato salad. Not wanting to waste a dish, I started eating right out of the bowl of potato salad.

The moment people saw it, they go: "That is SUCH a bachelor thing to do." It never even struck me this was an odd thing to do - I was going to finish off the bowl of potato salad, and it was better than wasting water washing a dish whent he plastic bowl would do.

Such is my life.