Because humiliating myself in front of an anonymous public is what I love to do, I present to you the most awful picture of me ever taken (courtesy of Damien):

Ladies, if you're ever on the other end of that photo, quietly walk away. Don't run or scream, you might scare the subject. Just calmly walk away.

. . .

And in keeping with the tradition of posting Brian's photoshop mockeries of me: