Hey everybody, a serious post lies ahead, so if you don't want to ruin your beautiful Thursday afternoon reading drivel, I suggest you stop here :)

So, I've been asked to join the company out in San Diego. I've been wanting to get out of Chapel Hill for a while (talk is cheap), so this presents an excellent opportunity. But there's a huge part of me that's reluctant to this change ... it's so odd. I'm young, single, no real commitments anywhere (of course, being a commitment-phobe has a lot to do with this) - wouldn't anybody jump at the opportunity to live in sunny San Diego?

Now, I love what I'm doing. I love my job, I love the people I work with, and I have a strong belief in the success of what we develop. Whether that translates into business success is the big question for me.

The company's offered full relocation and a lateral pay raise for the move to SD, which is very nice of them. However, when I did my calculations, I'd have even less disposable income than I have right now (living at home = 0 rent), which isn't very appealing. I've also had the inkling that I've been getting severely underpaid for the 18 months or so I've worked for the company, and having to live with even less free cash isn't an appealing situation for me.

As lame as this is also going to sound, I don't want to leave my mom here. My dad had to relocate cause of his job to Kansas City a while ago, and he flies back every two weeks, but with my sister also off to college, my mom's gonna be lonely. True, I don't see her very often (I'm locked up in my room most of the day), but I think it'll be tough for her to see me go across the country. I would feel a bit better if she had a bunch of close friends here, but she doesn't have as many friends as she used to (and there's been some MAJOR church drama lately that's been stressing her out). I also don't want to leave my sister behind ... I don't see her very often, but I still enjoy seeing her once a week or so and teasing her about boys. Who will I tease if she's not around?!

The whole family situation aside, it's also tough for me to wrap my head around the financials of the move. I'm running large server bills which I haven't worried about since I'm not paying rent - I think I need to sit down and calculate exactly what this lateral move is gonna cost me and see how that works out. I'm willing to take a small pay cut, but not much. I already get the sense I'm not getting remotely close to what I should be making, but I'll ignore that feeling.

Not to mention that a start-up isn't a sure thing. I could be busted out on my ass in a few months with less money than I started. But it's all for the experience, right?

What bothers me more is that in a sense, I'd really be committing myself to MT. When I get frustrated with MT work at home, it's easy for me just tell myself my upside is linked more to my own projects and brush off those frustrations. If I'm working there, I feel I'll be investing a lot more to the company and a lot less to my own projects ... in a sense I get the real feeling that I'll be abandoning my own stuff and my own future for a future linked with MT.

And this isn't even mentioning the fact that I'll be leaving behind a very close group of friends whom I've gotten to know quite well over the past few years. I'm not one to make new friends very easily, and starting over in San Diego will be tough. When I was living in Korea, I made 0 new friends outside of work. I feel it'll be the same situation here.

And what of my beloved Tar Heels? :(

Well, lot's to think about. My home for 14 years ... for an uncertain and tougher future across the country.

Posted by roy on November 16, 2006 at 01:33 PM in Personal | 10 Comments

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Comment posted on November 20th, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I forgot to mention, my Zags are gonna beat your beloved Tar Heels. :-)
Comment posted on November 18th, 2006 at 10:47 PM
In the end, only you can really decide how the calculus works out. However, I certainly would talk with your mother about it first, and see how she feels.

As for the cost of surviving in San Diego, I would be less concerned about that. Sure, you may have to make some lifestyle adjustments, but this is a great opportunity to see another part of the country. Especially with a full relocation package...
Comment posted on November 18th, 2006 at 09:59 PM
i'll buy you a coffee or whatever and lets just chat. gimme a call.
Comment posted on November 17th, 2006 at 10:58 PM
come out to san diego! it'as aweomse. get away from NC! we can chill :P
Comment posted on November 17th, 2006 at 10:26 PM
San Diego is very expensive right now, especially housing or rent. Plus you would have to learn to speak Spanish to shop there. :-) I have a friend lived there until recently (she had to move north to be near her sick father). Left her son in her house. She loved San Diego, especially the weather and location (close to Mexico or Los Angeles - though why anyone would want to go to either of those places is beyond me). But she did say it was awfully expensive. Good luck in whatever you decide.
Comment posted on November 17th, 2006 at 01:59 PM
hey roy, i know where you're coming from now wanting to leave you mom and your friends & well... your home. BIG sacrifice esp for a company that isn't necessarily stable and on the upswing. the perk of san diego is that you'd be in california... a place where there are more roy-like ppl (all internet tech) which would be a great location for you to network, develop your ideas, and meet ppl with similar ideas.

financially, i'd def. mention that a raise in pay would be nice because the cost of living is significantly higher. they should at least give you that.

tough decision, but i still say, cali is a wonderful place (: and real friends will always be your friends no matter where you are.
Comment posted on November 16th, 2006 at 11:34 PM
sir, the real question at hand seems to me is... what about the ranch that holds your 180 horses? do you really want to part with that?!
Comment posted on November 16th, 2006 at 08:38 PM
You can make a life size stand up of yourself for your mom and sister. You can make a number of them. One that folds so that it's like you sitting at the dinner table, one of you on the couch watching TV, in front of the computer. You'd be everywhere. Or get your mom a dog and name it Roy.

teresya :P (guest)

Comment posted on November 16th, 2006 at 04:21 PM
hi roy! you didnt ask for advice but here's my two cents anyways :P DO IT!!! as in move to cali. i'm a believer in leaving your comfort zone. its always hard but ive had to do it a few times in my young life and its always been good. plus, SD?! NOTHING beats cali weather, food, etc. at the very least, ask MT if they will pay for a trip to visit so you can see what life is like there.
Comment posted on November 16th, 2006 at 02:20 PM
All valid points you bring up. One question, though. Do you have the option of staying with MT in Chapel Hill, or no? I think that, as well as your ability to find another job should you choose to leave MT if a stay in CH with them isn't feasible, would definitely play a large role in which decision you should make. As great as home is, it would suck balls if you couldn't find a job you liked.