On the way back from the mountain trip, I picked up an AWESOME set of shades for $8 at a gas station, but the only way I'd wear these AWESOME shades is to get $3,000 LASIK eye surgery (I hate contacts).

Hmm.... how much longer will these AWESOME shades remain lonely?

(the alternative is before entering any party or residence i could put on these AWESOME shades and make my entrance, cause first impressions = CRUCIAL. this would be the economically feasible alternative...)

oh little roy, he loved those sunglasses (they'll say ...)