Given the amount of time I've been spending recently battling spam on Tabulas, this email from Russia gave me a very LONG LOL moment this morning:

Good afternoon! I am the user of your service tabulas.com. services rendered by you are very convenient and practical - for it to you many thanks. I am engaged in creation of pages under the order. One week ago I have accepted the order for manufacturing of 5 pages from different persons. As your hosting takes good positions in Google - I have chosen it. But yesterday all sites have been removed. I do not understand, that I have broken. If it is possible answer. Sites already cost in Google on high positions so both you and I lose money from advertising. I ask you to understand in a situation.

Which I cannot unblock the list of sites.

http://www.tabulas.com/~newphentermine
http://www.tabulas.com/~buytramadolnow
http://www.tabulas.com/~nowbuyxanax
http://www.tabulas.com/~buydiazepamka
http://www.tabulas.com/~buyadipexnow

I can not remove your account from the deletion queue . Please help me. If I am necessary is ready to pay in reasonable limits or to pass on paid use these addresses. I simply do not wish to lose clients. I think you too! All good.

What?! You're losing money! WELL GREAT JUMPING WILDEBEESTS OF AFRICA, LET ME WHIP OUT THE "HELP SPAMMERS AS FAST AS I CAN" CHAINSAW AND CHOP DOWN THESE OPPRESSIVE WALLS OF MODERATION!!!!!!!!!!!

What is most amusing about this email is that the fact that he's already lost "5 clients" after I suspended his sites (and I'm pretty sure he's not 'fessing up to more, cause I suspended close to 20 sites manually today). Maybe I should get into the business of selling phentermine, tramadol, xanax, diazepam, and dipex. Then maybe I could actually make a profit from Tabulas.

<roy lustily gazes upon the 80,000 email address he has stored in the Tabulas system...>

so... is anybody interested in increasing your penis size cause you're just not satisfying your significant other?????? i give you best price!