Finally, my years of masquerading as a student are finally over, as I got this from the mailman today:

What's truly amusing is that I pulled this off with the lowest possible GPA possible, which I hope is a school record. I graduated 7/1000 of a point above the minimum requirements, which was largely the result of me going down the wrong academic path. I was pushing for a BS in Chemistry, when I finally woke up during junior year and asked, "What am I going to be doing with a chemistry degree that is making this all worth it?" The answer, obviously, is "Nothing." So I copped out and just got a BA in Chemistry and a BA in Economics (Economics is one of those courses they should encourage everybody to take cause it is truly fascinating, although the real-world value that it holds is somewhat questionable since everything is based on theoretical "pure" models which can never exist).

What an accomplishment (Not).

. . .

But it all wasn't a wasted experience. Fortunately for me, I still have my UNC OneCard (ID). This saves a whopping $1.75 everytime I go to the theaters ($8.50 for a normal movie ticket, $6.75 with a student ID). As far as Southpoint Movies is concerned, I never graduated.