I guess it's time you to know. I'm in love. I have finally found the girl of my dreams. I didn't think it would be possible, but ... ::sigh:: I've become a cliche. Oh, Rachel McAdams... you hold the key to my heart.

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Ever since seeing "The Wedding Crashers," I can't get her out of my mind. In fact, the depths of my love for her run so deep I even tested my masculinity by going out and renting The Notebook. How can any man watch The Notebook and not fall in love with Rachel McAdams? I dare any of you .... watch it. DO IT. And if you don't fall in love with Rachel ... well I question your taste in women!

Tonight I felt like I was ready to take our relationship to another level, so I bought the Notebook on DVD. Who can question my loyalty to her?

To be honest, I feel like this is the real deal. I have never felt such a connection with another soul ... I just long for her soft embrace every minute of the day ...

Some of you may be wondering ... what about your flame Jessica Biel? As I have told my close circle of confidants ... the Roy Kim Gravy Train only stops at one station at a time. I was waiting at the Kate Beckinsale Station and Jessica Biel Station for quite some time. After some time, the train must leave, with or without its passengers. I cannot help it if they never returned my calls or emails... they're missing out. Now the Roy Kim Gravy Train (which is headed UPPPPPPPtown) is waiting at Rachel McAdams Station. All she does is have to get on.

Oh, how the pangs of love have awakened my soul...

I dedicate this poem by Billy Shakespeare to my new love:

But love is blind and lovers cannot see
The pretty follies that themselves commit;
For if they could, Cupid himself would blush
To see me thus transformed to a boy.

. . .

Ha ha. Just kidding. Seriously though, when I saw her in the Wedding Crashers, I thought she was quite cute. She has that gorgeous smile and those sparkling eyes (although that could be camera trickses the tricksy hobbitses in the movie industry are playing on me) ... but when I saw "The Notebook," I was amazed how great of an actress she is. Did anybody check out her audition on the extra features? WOW.

Wooo, got all the silliness out of my system now.

Posted by roy on July 19, 2005 at 10:48 PM in Foolishness | 11 Comments

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Comment posted on July 23rd, 2005 at 11:33 AM
i also fell in love after wedding crashers and nobody i saw it with understood. thank you roy, and i wish you the best with that train of yours.
Comment posted on July 21st, 2005 at 09:17 PM
Maybe you're problem is that those girls dont' like gravy???? get a DIAMOND TRAIN and they'll hop on!
Comment posted on July 22nd, 2005 at 12:13 AM
i like the way you think
Comment posted on July 20th, 2005 at 09:23 PM
word on the street is she used to be a porn star.
Comment posted on July 22nd, 2005 at 12:13 AM
don't make me swing the hammer on your account
Comment posted on July 26th, 2005 at 12:44 AM
Yo! don't kill the messenger. Just telling me what I heard from a guy who went to San Diego Comicon.
Comment posted on July 20th, 2005 at 06:37 AM
check her out in Mean Girls. ;)
Comment posted on July 22nd, 2005 at 12:14 AM
i actually did see that when it came out on dvd... enjoyed it. i dont like her much as a blonde tho :(
Comment posted on July 20th, 2005 at 12:59 AM
I would totally do Rachel McAdams.

I mean, I'm sure she's a lovely girl.
Comment posted on July 22nd, 2005 at 12:14 AM
WHOA WHOA. haven't you JUST gotten into a relationship?! isn't it a bit early to be shopping around already????
Comment posted on July 19th, 2005 at 11:34 PM
weak...so weak...you don't even visit JO anymore