Do you remember those "Choose Your Adventure"-type stories? Well, let's TRY ONE that's based on REAL LIFE EVENTS!!!

It is 430am. You are exhausted, but you are also starving. Deciding that placating the rumbling of your stomach is the only way you'll get to sleep tonight, you meander downstairs in search of food, much like our ancestors in the Stone Ages used to do.

While foraging, like our ancestors, you discover a Japanese Bean Cake pastry. This is quite a treat - it is red bean covered with this doughy cake-y that is absolutely SCRUMPTIOUS. You, Caveman Grog, are excited with this find.

You quickly run back to your cave [upstairs] where the halogen lighting reveals a potential problem: the white cake dough is spotted with green dots. At first, you dismiss the green dots as being part of the cake, but then the "smart" part of your brain realizes ... "this may be mold." You debate whether red bean cake can "seep" to the outer edges of cake into a green dot.

You are really really hungry. The choice is this:

  • Do you eat the red-bean cake, convincing yourself that the moldy spots are probably just red bean? (Turn to page 96)
  • Or do you not eat the red bean cake? (Turn to page 104)

Do not dismiss this post as simple foolishness! The solutions we reach as a group can be appled to broader philosophical questions useful to the male species when entering university: "Is the pizza eatable? What parameters do we use to decide whether food that's been left out can be eaten without dire consequence? Is it worth starving for?" These are questions of great import.

Posted by roy on March 2, 2005 at 02:43 AM in Foolishness | 21 Comments

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PM5K (guest)

Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 03:30 PM
As stupid and silly as this is it's still a hundred times better than a poker post so I shall reply.

I wouldn't have eaten it, I mean don't you have anything else to eat?
Comment posted on March 3rd, 2005 at 06:25 AM
I thought this would be at least a 1000x better. I'm dissappointed.
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 02:45 PM
page 96

Whilst stuffing said red-bean cake into your mouth, lions burst through your window and you are mauled.




This is what happens when you eat bad food. True story.
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 02:50 PM
AHHHHHH. But I ate it last night and there were no lions. perhaps they're just waiting to strike me in the shadows?
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 03:00 PM
Most defintely. Watch out!
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 12:55 PM
EAT IT!!! (: Mold never does harm... and if you fear it will, travel out to a party, and you get yourself some alcohol which will promptly kill it, then you'll not only be full, but you'll be warm *in case it's cold out* and happy!
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 09:53 AM
Turn to page 77 and go to Time Out for an egg and cheese biscuit.
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 01:38 PM
That's what I was trying to tell you!
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 12:07 PM
The devious bunny ate your head and you died. END OF STORY.
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 03:46 PM
well, I'm glad the clogged arteries didn't get me first.
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 09:01 AM
can i pick at the red bean cake and then throw it at grog?
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 12:07 PM
The car careened off the cliff and into the gully below, where you ran into Chuckie and his bride.

THE END.
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 01:44 PM
but... what happened to grog? that character buildup you devised for him makes me care for him as a person.
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 02:24 PM
Well, Grog is dead. He's been dead for about thousands and thousands of years. But you'll be happy to know that the mold that he DID eat had nothing to do with it ... he died when a pterodactyl swooped down and dropped him into an active volcano.
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 08:29 AM
The homeless would eat it and cherish it. So you, a man who is of similar status, should eat it too. For you, turn to page 96. I on the other hand, do not eat red beans to begin with. It is below me. I would turn to 104.

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Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 12:28 PM
For you sir, you wake up dead from starvation.
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 07:56 AM
if the next day is a weekday, definately 96.
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 06:33 AM
brilliant, i'd go to page 104, but i hate mold so...
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 12:28 PM
You die of starvation. The End.

Andrew Synn (guest)

Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 02:49 PM
Roy, i do believe you have a promising career in authoring children's books and perhaps even a future in publishing.
Comment posted on March 2nd, 2005 at 03:07 PM
Why thank you sir. I can see my tagline now:

"Roy Kim: Demoralizing Children since 2005"