December has always been a traditionally shitty month for me ... so this year was no different. One of these days, I'll post a nice 30-day summary of all the lovely stuff that's happened. I guess in the grand scheme of things it's not so bad, but boy do the small things start to add up to the biggest problems...

To help me distract myself, I've been listening to a lot of new songs to help put my life in perspective. After watching Napoleon Dynamite tonight (I LOOOOVED IT!), I was entranced by the song playing in the prom scene of Napoleon Dynamite ... I later found out the song was by a group called "Alphaville," a German synthpop band from the '80s.

alphavilla - forever young
let's dance in style, lets dance for a while
heaven can wait we're only watching the skies
hoping for the best but expecting the worst
are you going to drop the bomb or not?

let us die young or let us live forever
we don't have the power but we never say never
sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip
the music's for the sad men

can you imagine when this race is won
turn our golden faces into the sun
praising our leaders we're getting in tune
the music's played by the madmen

forever young, i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever, forever and ever

some are like water, some are like the heat
some are a melody and some are the beat
sooner or later they all will be gone
why don't they stay young

it's so hard to get old without a cause
i don't want to perish like a fading horse
youth is like diamonds in the sun
and diamonds are forever

so many adventures couldn't happen today so many songs we forgot to play so many dreams are swinging out of the blue we let them come true

The song is interesting to me because it's obviously a very long reference to the Cold War; a time when the people of Europe constantly had the threat of nuclear holocaust over their heads.

Although the song is obviously a reference to enjoying your youth to the fullest extent, it is tempered by the fear of being killed in a global catastrophe... but what's amazing to me is the acceptance of the situation by the singer. They've accepted it as a way of life and continue to live their lives ... but there is always this yearning to remain young even with the situation that they're in. They don't view the situation as hopeless at all - they think of the future where the arms race will finally be over and they can live their lives without worrying about death.

I do miss my youth; I know given all that's happened in the past few months my parents also wish for the same. Times were simpler than ... there was so much hope for what I could of been (in their eyes) ... but now the bitter truths of life kick and ... well... a lot of people are dissappointed (me included).

But you know what? We still have each other. We still have a roof over our heads, and we still have those strong bonds that tie us together as a family. And on this Christmas, I guess that's all that matters :)