Apparently my business cards are a big hit. People love it. Great! There was one small blemish on the cards (my fault) where there was a slight discoloration in the white area (for some reason when I compressed it it became a slightly off-white color, blech).

Now, I'm a prideful person and more than anything, I have trouble saying "I'M SORRY" about stuff.

So it struck me. Why not make a BUSINESS CARD that would apologize FOR me? I could simply check the appropriate boxes, stamp the date (red rubber stamps are absolutely cool; I remember wanting to stamp my own work in grade school) and give the card to someone. The whole process is already set-up (SYNERGIZING AND LEVERAGING E-TECHNOLOGIES TO STREAMLINE OPERATIONS) AND people will know that I'm not an asshole - I REALLY AM SORRY!

The front of my 'apology' card. The child indicates a "mistake." In his case, the mistake is that he's a moron and he can't eat his ice cream. The image of the child should "soothe" the emotions of those who are receiving the cards (who might be angry because ... well I obviously did something wrong!). It's kind of like those frat guys who use puppies to get girls... I'm using an obviously cheap 'cute' image to make people go "Awwwww."

The quote imparts wisdom from some smart guy since I suck with words and lack creativity. Maybe my roommate Yush (the poet) can make me a cool quote about "being sorry" and I could use it. The big sans-serifed font makes good use of negative space, which is all the "rage" with designers lately (this whole concept of negative space is pretty retarded if you ask me ... I mean, how can there be design in NOTHING? [Just kidding]).

The backside contains my name (thus letting you know WHO apologized) along with my contact information (in case you want to call me and let me know how grateful you are that I apologized).

The backside also contains an area where I can "stamp" the date. Knowing WHEN I apologized is very important. Apologizing 4 months after something happened is a NO-NO. This way, everyone will know that Roy apologized "within X days" of something happening.

The options are the most common reasons i might be sorry about something. I was going to put "so gosh darn good looking," but I really can't apologize for that. Tthat would be on my mom and dad's "apology" business cards.

I've left the business card open-ended with the "other" reasons. This basically allows me to be really cool and "write in my own reason" since life isn't all about checkboxed answers.

And of course, to make this a "binding" legal document, I've included my signature in the bottom right.

So if I wrong you in any way, demand an apology. I will gladly acknowledge your request.

(I think this post clearly demonstrates why I need a girlfriend.)