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Warning: I realized after I wrote this that it could be misinterpreted. I am writing this whole thing tongue-in-cheek cause I'm in one of those weird "really hyper" moods. No offense to anybody, and don't take it seriously.

A few things I realized today:

The place to find the WORST driving in the world is at high school when kids are being picked up. The two primary types of drivers are: (1) soccer moms in oversized SUVs or minivans and (2) high school kids. Subgroup (2) can be further divided into: (1) emotionally unstable high school girls and (2) hormonally charged boys.

Now let's make a sweeping generalization here that women cannot drive. This is not to say that all women cannot drive; I have met many women who are great drivers. I have also met women drivers who are the most AGGRESSIVE (good) drivers I've ever met. But as a general whole, women are not as good drivers, both because of their relative lack of hand-motor abilities (my tennis class is a great example of this) and their lack of a natural sense of direction.

The soccer moms are the WORST drivers. They don't understand that in a pick-up circle you CANNOT CUT IN LINE AND JUST GO UP TO THE CURB; they seem to ignore the long line of people waiting and cut in front of people. Furthermore, the pick-up lane is two cars wide (one for parking along the curb, the other for driving past ... but these women seem intent on STOPPING IN THE MOVING LANE. Not only does this make it impossible for cars trying to get OUT, but it stops up traffic all the way back. SMOOTH MOVE. ANd of course, I'm signalling to get OUT so the line can MOVE, but the stupid soccer moms are intent on passing me ... and then stopping right to my immediate left so I can't get out while they look desperately for their kids. Look, we all got places to be. You and your kid can spend another 5 minutes waiting.

So not only do we have women (who cannot drive) in oversized cars that have crappy movement (I know my Ford Taurus is like a turtle when it comes to turning, but these minivans and SUVs are tons worse!) ... but the other side of the coin are a bunch of emotionally unstable high school girls. Honestly, when I see them approaching, I'm not sure what to do. They could be seething with anger that one of their friends didn't share their apples with them at lunch ... or whatever high school girls get pissed about. There they are yapping away on their cell phones or whoever else is in the car, not paying attention to the road...

A side story: my freshman year I was biking from campus back to my dorm (a 10-15 minute walk, a 2 minute bike ride). I'm behind this person walking, and we're both crossing the crosswalk in front of the Bell Tower. As I'm crossing the crosswalk, the truck waiting suddenly LURCHES FORWARD as I've crossed halfway across the crosswalk (the crosswalk spans over a two-lane road). The truck luckily stops about 3 inches (I kid you not, I could feel the engine) in front of me as I stare at the grille. I'm not prone to anger, so I wasn't really pissed, just kind of stupified that someone could be so dumb as to not notice a guy crossing the crosswalk on a YELLOW BIKE in BROAD DAYLIGHT. I look up, half expecting an old granny ... but it's three stupid sorostitutes listening to music really loudly. The one driving was screaming, the two sitting in front had big ass eyes ... stupid sorostitutes almost got me seriously hurt. So if you think my hatred towards women drivers is based on nothing, you're wrong. Time and time again I've had horrible experiences with women behind the wheel. (Note: That's not to say I'm a great driver. But I don't make blindly dumb mistakes like this and almost hit people.)

So between trying to navigate between the inept soccer moms and the emotionally unstable high school girls, I have the last subset of drivers to worry about: the emotionally charged boys. Whether their testosterone is running high from being at the top of their cliques or from asking the hot cheerleader out, these guys will SPEED LIKE CRAZY IN A 25MPH ZONE. I mean, I'm not 35mph... I mean more like 45-55 .... it's ridiculous. And of course, none of the high school kids ever abide with the stop sign, so one basically has to yield to them or risk getting into a serious accident.