There is something so amusing in reading Bill Simmons' articles on ESPN regarding the NBA... read his latest take on the Western Conference... the part that really got me laughing out loud was his "predictions" for Houston... I couldn't figure out why he italicized the whole paragraph until I read the whole thing:

I am having trouble playing with the lanky African-American who uses an acronym for a name. I feel like someone is extracting my molar without the use of novacaine. This lanky man with the acronym seems to bristle when I am teamed by two defenders, believing that he is the one who should be drawing such attention. He attempts ill-advised field goals with plenty of time remaining on the shotclock and nobody standing under the basket. And his lackluster efforts on the defensive end have left the bald gentleman guiding our team frustrated beyond recognition.

There has been screaming and conflict on more than one occasion. Even my efforts have been targeted by the bald gentleman with three names, although the rebounding chores have fallen into my hands and I have no assistance. I miss playing with my diminutive friends, Steve Francis and Cuttino Mobley. I am very lonely. I wish I could play for the Lakers.

Oh man, he gets EVERYBODY'S number.

And I am rooting for the Nuggets. You can call me a bandwagon fan or whatever, but I was rooting for them last year; I really think that 'Melo will be a solid contender (possible All-Star) if he can get his personal life together. I love Camby ... even with all the baggage that comes with supporting a character like that ... and now with the addition of K-Mart ... the Nuggets frontcourt is simply amazing. Imagine what will happen if they can get a solid selfless shooting guard ... sick.

. . .

There's a great interview with Phil Ivey on CardPlayer. Another great snippet:

Lots of top players don’t wear sunglasses. I tried to wear sunglasses once at the World Series and misread my hand. I threw them into the garbage can, and they were $1,100 sunglasses.

(Phil’s wife overheard this and said, “So, that’s where those went. I thought you lost them.” “Yeah,” he said. “I lost them in the garbage can.” “Those were nice sunglasses,” she said. “Yeah, so nice that they cost me a $100,000 pot.”)

Posted by roy on November 10, 2004 at 07:50 PM in Sports | 2 Comments

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Comment posted on November 11th, 2004 at 07:36 AM
Haha, if my woman said that to me, I would've asked her the age-old question, "what did the 5 fingers say to the face?"