Sometimes I wonder if these immature posts give people a bad image of Tabulas. Then I remind myself how much this site sucks and I feel much better. ;)

(Note: Bert noted that his birthday was also yesterday ... sorry I forgot! MUST incorporate a "remind me of birthday" feature into Tabulas ...)

In any case, I am a totally nice guy when it comes to my friends. Totally nice. For example, my roommate Yush likes nice butts. I personally find the objectification of women disgusting, but I humor him when we both see a nice butt and he starts a conversation about it.

In any case, a long-running joke about Korean girls is they have "high class, but no ass." Since I am in Korea, I am in the perfect position to help make objective observations about this long-running cliche. I know some of you (especially Yush) wonder about what type of butt the Korean girls have. So I will enlighten you.

I have been torturing myself with long hours of observation, extended notes, failed side-experiments... all for you, my lovely readers. FOR YOU. When I want to fall asleep on the bus while going to work after barely sleeping the night before, I catch myself! I say to myself, "ROY! YOUR READERS NEED YOU TO PROVE THE 'HIGH CLASS NO ASS THEOREM! NO TIME FOR SLEEP!" I then proceed to check out all the specimens available for visual consumption ... again ... for you. YOU!

I must say that Korean girls like high heels. This is quite deceptive. Because the styles are a bit different in Korea, you don't see too many tight jean shorts or super-high skirts (thank goodness, I really hate those) ... but you do see many mini-skirts (all of reasonable length) ...

Now, these conveniently tight miniskirts allow for perfect from-a-distance examination of the buttocks. Most of the time I will conclude based on the evidence that the woman might have firm, nice set of slightly-average size (undersized if you think American badunkadunks are "normal" ... which they're not, based on my experiences in Asia/Europe) ... but then I'll realize they're wearing high heels. And that will just skew the data set.

But once in a while I *WILL* see a well-proportioned pair of buttocks from a girl NOT WEARING HIGH HEELS!

I found myself behind such a pair today. At first, I dismissed the round bumpkus as being heel-enhanced, but upon closer inspection, I realized the girl was just wearing SANDALS!

So Yush, yes ... there is hope for you here. Although they are rare, I must conclude based on evidence that girls with a nice pair of buttocks do exist in Korea.

Again, I must offer the disclaimer that I personally am not attracted to big buttocks. This whole observation was done for the benefit of my roommate Yush, who is currently looking for a future Ms. Ho.

. . .

Here is part II of our new double-header post whammy!

I'm afraid that I am unravelling years of work by distinguished physicists. Since coming to Korea, I've been eating a lot of good food. My reasoning, although I'm wasting a lot of money, is that I probably won't come back here for a while, so I better damn well enjoy all the food.

I usually eat for two people ... but what worries me is that I have not been excreting the proper amount. Assuming the amount you excrete is linear to the amount you eat, the more I eat, the more I would excrete (either the mass per load or the frequency of excretion should go up!). However, I still have been only pooping once a day ... and the amount that comes out is quite minute.

So this begs the question: Where the heck is all that food going?!

The layman might initially thing, "Roy, you are burning the extra food into energy."

Bzzt. I am inherently lazy, and my "work ethic" has not improved. Just ask my SAT students. So I can therefore assume that I have not been burning more of the food.

So where exactly is the food going? Is my body a black hole for food ... where for every 1kg of food that comes out, my body only produces 0.5kg of mass in the form of excrement???????? Am I destroying mass, thus undermining the fundamental concept of conservation of mass?

Seriously, I can't sleep over this. If my body is undermining the very laws of physics ... I'm afraid of what my body may unleash on the world.

. . .

Does anyone find this image incredibly humorous? Just me?

Great suggestions on how to improve Tabulas from sal. Guys, if you want to improve Tabulas, just write a post about it and link to it from a comment in mine. I *do* take suggestions quite seriously and there *is* work being done hard-core behind the scenes, although it doesn't seem that way to you guys.

Based on a previous conversation regarding free templating, I may implement some sort of 'neutral' ground where *some* free users can get free templating ... (thinking something along the lines of paid users get to "give" certain features to certain people, kinda like gmail invites) ...

But yeah. I take Tabulas quite seriously, so please ... let me know how it can improve 8)

P.S. I enabled images in comments. I thought I had done this a long time ago, but apparently not. Thanks to sockhop for the heads up.

I feel the same way regarding the Tabulas downtime. Gosh, who are the idiots who can't even run a friggin' server?!?!?!?!?!? !!!!