Don't be so hard on yourself and try not to become disillusioned with people in general. Not a good trait to have. I would say find something that you really love and stick with it. But always have a plan B, and C.

yeah, i feel quite burned out about life too. it fuckin sucks.

if you look for appreciate and rewards from other people in what you do, maybe you shouldn't be in the area of self-employment. for me, appreciate and rewards drive me to do better and to feel good about what i've accomplished. in school, that used to be in the form of grades. now at work, a compliment from my manager or appreciation lunches make me feel better about my work. but when you're self-employed (as a creator of tabulas/audio match/etc.), you are almost your own boss. noone's really above you to give you a grade reflecting the quality of your work or to compliment on how well you've done lately.

in my opinion, i think you've done an oustanding job with all your projects. i seriously don't know how you manage to find enough time and motivation to do all this and go to school fulltime. (a good school studying a hard major at that) and i also think you're very brave to put your work out to the world. i think you should definately think about applying for a position in programming for a corporation/business. =)

you rock man, you'll be a success at anything, even if webpages don't work out (which i think they will). you're the person i'll always brag about knowing because you're going somewhere, and although you might not want to hear that right now its true. You've already been a huge success, and that will only continue, there is nothing you can do about that, as long as you keep being yourself. don't get yourself too down, just keep on trucking, and do whats right for you

eh? ;)