February 10, 2004
Stress
Ah, broken down so I don't take up real estate on all my friends' pages ;)
It's currently 6:01 AM as I'm writing this .... I have been tossing and turning for the past two hours, trying to get to sleep ... but I can't. I may have to skip classes once again tomorrow ... because I cannot friggin' sleep.
A lot of things are running through my mind right now, most notably my life decisions. I am currently in school, studying chemistry and econ when I have no interest in anything with either of them.
However, my true passion lies in making websites, which is such a new field that there really isn't a major for it. Furthermore, the one major that would give me a better background in this (CS), I chose not to pursue.
This means that the career I want to pursue ... I have no real background in it. I could never get a job at a real CS-related company ... I have no credentials.
So basically I am the master of nothing, but I know many things.
But my real stress right now is in the state of my web projects. I think part of this has to do with my perfectionist attitude, but I feel like all my projects are crap. Before you guys post a comment and make me feel better, the numbers mean nothing to me. What matters to _me_ is whether I feel satisfied with them or not, and I don't.
Let me break it down:
1.) Tabulas:
What a heap of mess. I've begun to plan on in my mind what I need to do make Tabulas not suck, and it's looking to be about a 10 page paper. The product itself, although it doesn't absolutely suck ass like certain other sites, still lacks stability and scaleability, which will be a severe problem once the site grows even further.
2.) Audiomatch
The site is ugly. The features are limited. But we still have to support 10,000 users for free... which is a burden. Neeraj and I have plans on making AM for-pay, but this means I have to invest a significant amount of time rewriting the scripts and user handling so that there's something to _pay_for.
3.) The new project
This is probably stressing me out the most. I'll soon be out of college, and I'm really banking on the fact that I can be self-sufficient; I'm not looking for any jobs and I didn't bother networking through internships or school-related activities.
The new project *is* going to be my one source of income, as I plan it, for my first few years out. The site is entering a crowded market (this I'm not naive about) and will probably be very costly for me to run in the initial phases.
In order for the site to succeed, it must absolutely be perfect. It cannot be lacking in any aspect; it's my first corporate site and it will be put to the test against other established sites and brands. This is no joke for me .... so I've been constantly thinking about how to improve the existing site ... the features I need to build in and the improvements I need to make to the user interface and such.
But even if the site succeeds, will it succeed financially? I could be setting myself up for the biggest fall in my life; I have high expectations for myself, but even a greater expectation to those who use the site ... to open their wallets and support the site. Given the history I've had with Tabulas, I'm not horribly optimistic.
So here I sit at 6:08 AM, wondering about my future. Will my projects succeed? Will I find the time between school to finish these projects and get them to be successful? *Will* they be successful? I am walking a dangerous life path (one that my parents should rightly be worried about) where the potential rewards are great ... but the pitfalls are even worse (not to mention there is almost no chance of success).
One thing I've come to realize over the past few days regarding all this lovely stuff is that it helps me realize what is great in my life. Throughout all the stress and worrying I've gone through, I've discovered a few constants in my life:
1.) I love my family. My parents, although they pushed me hard earlier in life and sometimes don't understand some of the things I've gone through, do love me and support me. They want the best for me, even if it means a lot of personal sacrifice for them. As I grow up, I realize more and more how much my parents love me and it hurts me more and more to think that I could be stressing them out. I know I can always rely on them for anything I need, and it pains me to think of all the drama I put them through when I was going through my rebellious phase throughout high school.
2.) Your friends are so important. I'm not the type to go on blubbering about my problems to anybody in real life (not my parents, not even my friends ...) even though I do write about so much personal stuff here. But I find it so great that I have friends who understand and help me feel better even when I'm feeling like shit and I haven't told them a goddamn thing about my problems. Specifically my roommates are so crucial to helping me unwind. To be able to distract myself and talk about fantasy or trashtalk with my roommates or whatnot, it's been a blessing to have great roommates and friends.
I was never one to believe all the cliches in life, but if you really strip away your friends and family, you are taking a lot of joy out of your life
It's currently 6:01 AM as I'm writing this .... I have been tossing and turning for the past two hours, trying to get to sleep ... but I can't. I may have to skip classes once again tomorrow ... because I cannot friggin' sleep.
A lot of things are running through my mind right now, most notably my life decisions. I am currently in school, studying chemistry and econ when I have no interest in anything with either of them.
However, my true passion lies in making websites, which is such a new field that there really isn't a major for it. Furthermore, the one major that would give me a better background in this (CS), I chose not to pursue.
This means that the career I want to pursue ... I have no real background in it. I could never get a job at a real CS-related company ... I have no credentials.
So basically I am the master of nothing, but I know many things.
But my real stress right now is in the state of my web projects. I think part of this has to do with my perfectionist attitude, but I feel like all my projects are crap. Before you guys post a comment and make me feel better, the numbers mean nothing to me. What matters to _me_ is whether I feel satisfied with them or not, and I don't.
Let me break it down:
1.) Tabulas:
What a heap of mess. I've begun to plan on in my mind what I need to do make Tabulas not suck, and it's looking to be about a 10 page paper. The product itself, although it doesn't absolutely suck ass like certain other sites, still lacks stability and scaleability, which will be a severe problem once the site grows even further.
2.) Audiomatch
The site is ugly. The features are limited. But we still have to support 10,000 users for free... which is a burden. Neeraj and I have plans on making AM for-pay, but this means I have to invest a significant amount of time rewriting the scripts and user handling so that there's something to _pay_for.
3.) The new project
This is probably stressing me out the most. I'll soon be out of college, and I'm really banking on the fact that I can be self-sufficient; I'm not looking for any jobs and I didn't bother networking through internships or school-related activities.
The new project *is* going to be my one source of income, as I plan it, for my first few years out. The site is entering a crowded market (this I'm not naive about) and will probably be very costly for me to run in the initial phases.
In order for the site to succeed, it must absolutely be perfect. It cannot be lacking in any aspect; it's my first corporate site and it will be put to the test against other established sites and brands. This is no joke for me .... so I've been constantly thinking about how to improve the existing site ... the features I need to build in and the improvements I need to make to the user interface and such.
But even if the site succeeds, will it succeed financially? I could be setting myself up for the biggest fall in my life; I have high expectations for myself, but even a greater expectation to those who use the site ... to open their wallets and support the site. Given the history I've had with Tabulas, I'm not horribly optimistic.
So here I sit at 6:08 AM, wondering about my future. Will my projects succeed? Will I find the time between school to finish these projects and get them to be successful? *Will* they be successful? I am walking a dangerous life path (one that my parents should rightly be worried about) where the potential rewards are great ... but the pitfalls are even worse (not to mention there is almost no chance of success).
One thing I've come to realize over the past few days regarding all this lovely stuff is that it helps me realize what is great in my life. Throughout all the stress and worrying I've gone through, I've discovered a few constants in my life:
1.) I love my family. My parents, although they pushed me hard earlier in life and sometimes don't understand some of the things I've gone through, do love me and support me. They want the best for me, even if it means a lot of personal sacrifice for them. As I grow up, I realize more and more how much my parents love me and it hurts me more and more to think that I could be stressing them out. I know I can always rely on them for anything I need, and it pains me to think of all the drama I put them through when I was going through my rebellious phase throughout high school.
2.) Your friends are so important. I'm not the type to go on blubbering about my problems to anybody in real life (not my parents, not even my friends ...) even though I do write about so much personal stuff here. But I find it so great that I have friends who understand and help me feel better even when I'm feeling like shit and I haven't told them a goddamn thing about my problems. Specifically my roommates are so crucial to helping me unwind. To be able to distract myself and talk about fantasy or trashtalk with my roommates or whatnot, it's been a blessing to have great roommates and friends.
I was never one to believe all the cliches in life, but if you really strip away your friends and family, you are taking a lot of joy out of your life
Comment with Facebook
Want to comment with Tabulas?. Please login.
Tallullah
As Jinshil says, experience is most important in this field. BTW, is there a possibility you could switch to another line of study at school so you could gain the academic basis you lack right now?
Follow your dreams Roy. No one says the road will be a smooth one, but ultimately you will be far more content. Even if it fails, at least you will be able to say you gave it your best try. You have a great talent at this computer stuff, so use that talent.
And don't give up five minutes before the miracle happens!
jinshil
You may not think that you have any credentials since you don't have an academic background in CS. However, first hand experience (all the projects you have done) is one of the most important when it comes to CS related jobs. Don't keep that from applying to jobs you know you can do.
About Tabulas not being perfect...it takes time and a huge effort to make code efficient and clean. Heck, they teach a class devoted to this (algorithms--really boring -_-). It's the second half of programming...cleaning up what you've programmed. That's why all successful software/firmware come in versions. ;)
Allen
i'm confident if you do your best you won't fail. and always remember that i'm there for you, from a serious chat to a relaxing money pestering one ;)
MacDaddyTatsu (guest)
If I can help you in ANY way, Ill be more than happy. If you ever need graphics or any multimedia of any kind you have it for free. Ill be there to test things and tell you what I find wrong, give ideas, and even try to offer financial support.
The thing about paid sites is that you have to remember that people and their money are not easily parted. The prettiest most fucntional software wont gleen you any kwan unless you offer things other people dont. I mean look at the current journal sites. If I were you, I would think about the following things:
- SCALING THE SERVICES -
You have to consider that you will have a LOT of free users. Make being a free user "ok", but let them see some real benefits from being a paid customer. The best way to do this is to offer tiers of service. Say free user, silver user, gold user and platinum user levels. Offer escalating services for each tier. Like your Tokki could be built into your silver plans and higher. Audiomatch, additional space and user created templates at Silver User paid level and higher. Then when you get to platinum maybe offer a lot of webspace to host files and maybe a built in webcam service or something.
- BLOG BASED DOMAIN NAME -
Ive asked around a lot of people have wanted to have a hastle free domain attatched to their blogs. Why not offer domain registration with paid blog accounts then? Loads of people have requested this and I dont understand WHY it hasnt been implemented. A person that isnt exactly HTML/NET sauve would jump at the chance to a "MYNAMEHERE.COM" blog. I know there are logistical problems that will arrise, but think about it. Allow every paid account over a certain pay level have a free domain with it. One the user selects.
- PAY FOR SPACE FILE HOSTING -
Based off of the idea of the tier user managment model you could offer increasing webspace for the user to host files. Right now most journal services offer little to no space. Im not saying you should throw it at people, but consider the need for the user to upload files. It would work a little like this:
Free account = 5mbs
Silver account = 30mbs
Gold account = 100mbs
Platimum account = 300mbs
You may wish to consider disallowing remote file usage on certain tiers of service to keep bandwidth in check. Additionally you may wish to "encourage" upgrading when disc quotas are approaching the red zone for that tier of service.
- BANDWIDTH LIMITS -
Again using the tiered service plan model, make sure that you explain that a free account has XXX bandwith allowed to it each month (look over you Tabulas numbers and figure out a workable model) and toss it in there as a basis for upgrading.
- TEMPLATE MACDADDY -
The number one thing that intimidates new users is getting used to actually altering the templates of a site to fit their tastes. SO make is sickeningly easy for the user to to modify the look of their journal. My suggestion is that you provide three major templates (like with Tabulas). Then the user would, through the control panel, access a page where the templates are listed. On this page they would be presented with a pane on the left and the right of their screen. On the left would be several named variables like "Journal Background", "Primary Link Color", "Primarly Link MouseOver Color" and the like some with a check box next to them. On the right side of the page would be resized image of the template. Now as the user altered the settings on the pane on the left the modifications would could be displayed on the pane to the right. (After the user pressed a refresh button) The user would go though altering all the variables to their liking. Images for the site would have to be uploaded and the user could replace template based images with their own uploaded (to the service of course) images availible through a pull down menu where each graphic element is. Remember those elements I mentioned with the check boxes? Well things like "Link to Profile Page", "Tagboard" and "Comments" could be checked on or off allowing the user to decide if they want to have them displayed on their freshly modified template!
This is not to say Im against user designed templates, but its more geared towards the immediate user. The type that wants a no hastle journal.
I have even more ideas. If any of this has offended you, please disregard it. If your interested in them, use them! If you want more I got them.
Im behind you Royo.