October 11, 2003
Life
I've been pondering this post for a while, but finally decided to write it after reading ben and phil's respective posts...
My carefree nonchalant attitude that dominated the first two years of college have been swept away by the lapping waves of reality. I'm pretty concerned about my future and what I'm going to be doing in the future.
It's never really occured to me, but I've always viewed certain things as being a "end" to it all. For example, during this summer, I was thinking that if I get a good MCAT score, then I could get into medical school, and then I would be "set."
It's akin to rock climbing, thinking you've reached the summit, and realizing you're only at a small cliff. Just taking a short breath while you continue your climb.
It's disheartening to me that no matter what I do, I will probably never find the closure in life that I want. No matter how successful one becomes, our human nature demands that we do more. That's why these celebrities and rich CEOs never find an end to their lives. They have to always push forward or they'll feel like a failure.
Maybe this is why so many find comfort in religion. Maybe that's why I've been slowly creeping back towards the church. Maybe I long for some type of greater reason, something that'll bring closure. BOOM, you're dead, and you're judged. There is your closure. You either make it into heaven or you don't.
This has been the real big thing on my mind lately - just realizing that there is no short answer ... no shortcut through life to that "nice" job where you can just live. We'll always strive for more. I can say right now, "I want to just find a $50K/year job with health and dental." But it won't be enough. I fear I'll fall into the trap of becoming a corporate drone and becoming bored with my job.
These problems I have now of the future are not going to be solved by getting into medical school or finding a job. They'll only be solved when I realize that I need to happy with my life. Take comfort in the fact that I have loving parents, great friends, and some skills I can apply to make my miniscule contribution to humanity (har har).
But yeah. It's been a downer.
----------------------------------------
Lucy Liu... Is she hot or not?
The jury remains out (in my mind, at least). I keep gravitating. Her freckles are so cute.
Kill Bill was amazing. The soundtrack was amazing as well.
My carefree nonchalant attitude that dominated the first two years of college have been swept away by the lapping waves of reality. I'm pretty concerned about my future and what I'm going to be doing in the future.
It's never really occured to me, but I've always viewed certain things as being a "end" to it all. For example, during this summer, I was thinking that if I get a good MCAT score, then I could get into medical school, and then I would be "set."
It's akin to rock climbing, thinking you've reached the summit, and realizing you're only at a small cliff. Just taking a short breath while you continue your climb.
It's disheartening to me that no matter what I do, I will probably never find the closure in life that I want. No matter how successful one becomes, our human nature demands that we do more. That's why these celebrities and rich CEOs never find an end to their lives. They have to always push forward or they'll feel like a failure.
Maybe this is why so many find comfort in religion. Maybe that's why I've been slowly creeping back towards the church. Maybe I long for some type of greater reason, something that'll bring closure. BOOM, you're dead, and you're judged. There is your closure. You either make it into heaven or you don't.
This has been the real big thing on my mind lately - just realizing that there is no short answer ... no shortcut through life to that "nice" job where you can just live. We'll always strive for more. I can say right now, "I want to just find a $50K/year job with health and dental." But it won't be enough. I fear I'll fall into the trap of becoming a corporate drone and becoming bored with my job.
These problems I have now of the future are not going to be solved by getting into medical school or finding a job. They'll only be solved when I realize that I need to happy with my life. Take comfort in the fact that I have loving parents, great friends, and some skills I can apply to make my miniscule contribution to humanity (har har).
But yeah. It's been a downer.
----------------------------------------
Lucy Liu... Is she hot or not?
The jury remains out (in my mind, at least). I keep gravitating. Her freckles are so cute.
Kill Bill was amazing. The soundtrack was amazing as well.
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SuperSunJ
This is a truth about life: life is not about getting to a state or a goal, but it is the journey itself. It's not about whether or not I'll finally graduate or make our million, but about enjoying the little daily blessings we're given. When we become Christians, we don't simply turn into sinless saints on the spot; in fact, we'll never achieve such a goal during this life. Instead, it is about walking with God, sharing with him both the good moments and the bad. It's good to have goals, they give you a direction to walk in, but what's most important is not whether or not you achieve it, but the process that takes you there: being able to look back, see where we've been, and using it to refine the rest of our walk.
I think Lucy Liu's freckles are cute too. I once fell for a Chinese girl who had the cutest freckles, but alas, she shot me out of the sky. :( C'est la vie. :P
0_0
Lucy Liu is so overrated, haha. I've seen hotter asian chicks :p
MacDaddyTatsu (guest)
jinshil